I promised to write every week, and I haven't been able to fulfil that. But it’s okay. Instead, I was doing other hard stuff, and, well, our capacity as humans for our stuff is limited. So let’s get that out of the way.

Second thing: this isn’t an installment of my Mindful by Design series. I will return to that, but this week I’d rather dig a bit deeper into what’s going on with me, just to make my writing feel aligned again.

Last month and this, I put myself in the shoes of every young, aspiring designer in the city hoping to break through into the world of commercial design and start their careers in the big apple. It was a fabulous experience—learning the ins and outs of office politics, keeping my Microsoft Teams warm, brainstorming with other designers in fancy boardrooms, sipping machine coffee, and sifting through decks. But it was temporary. Such is life.

Here’s the thing: since I graduated in September, I’ve been tirelessly applying to jobs, reaching out on LinkedIn, attending a multitude of design events, and even doing some schmoozing—all for a glimpse of making it to junior designer. And after a whirlwind month of placement, I find myself (almost, but a bit further along) back to where I started.

But that’s not entirely true. Now I have the wisdom of knowing what I’m missing out on: dedicating at least nine hours of my day to the mission of someone else as simply a means to an end. Don’t get me wrong—I love being part of a team and a bigger mission to meet clients' needs and solve their problems. But how much time and energy do I need to waste throwing job applications and sending emails into the void, when I can instead work on deepening my own design toolkit? So that one day, I might meet the needs of my clients and take them under my own wing.

So, going back to the title of today’s post on doing the hard thing: the hard thing is this—

I’m giving myself three months to find one client.

What I will be doing for those three months:

Learning full-stack developmentDesigning some stuff for freeBuilding my network

And if I can’t find any income from my own work after three months, then I’m back to the abyss of endless job applications.

I’ve decided that I want to build a life for myself where I’m free to travel and work whenever and wherever I like. And I think that freedom will only come from working for myself. But I’m terrified, and there is so much I don’t know.

The thing about hard things is that, as humanity, we get through hard things together. But I’m on my own here.

So help me with this hard thing, and please reach out to me with your advice, tips, suggestions, and conversations—so that I may not be totally alone.

Thank you!